Sweet Darkness

Hello all, here's a brand new story I wrote borrowing Karen Walker and Lorelai Gilmore [they just haven't realized yet...] Its a femslash, which is uber fun to write. So read, Review it, and let me know what you think. Especially if you want me to keep going...
-Kat


The house was dark, eerie even. The next door neighbor peered through the windows trying to see if the houses inhabitants were home, but no such luck. It was just dark, the flickering of the TV, the only thing to break that darkness. Babette thought a moment, trying to decide if she should find a way in or just go back to her house and wait. Sighing heavily, she slowly tottered her way back to her little house with her tall husband missing the heart wrenching sobs that started when she stepped off the porch.

Inside the house, Lorelai sat huddled on the sofa, her arms wrapped around her knees, rocking gently as the tears poured down her face. She murmured 'Damn it Karen' before nestling herself further into the sofa missing the knock on the door.

A fist pounded against the wooden door (frame baring her from entering), trying desperately to find entry inside but it was no use. No one was answering especially not who she yearned to see. Not since two days before, that was the last time they had seen each other. Karen blamed herself and wanted to make things right. Her hand slowly reached across the door, finding the doorbell but it was no use. No one was coming.

Sighing softly she leaned her head against the door, trying desperately not to cry. It wouldn't help anything if she cried, not here, not in the open. Not in this town of gossips. She turned away from the door, plopping herself on the top step. She leaned her head against the railing as her hand found the necklace Lorelai had given her for their 1 year anniversary. It was simple yet elegant. One tiny heart sat surrounded by multiple sapphire stones and two small white diamonds (that) blended in with the other stones. It was unique and special. And Karen treasured it with her whole heart. Especially now, it was the only thing that connected her to Lorelai, to the woman she loved. Closing her eyes she let the tears fall, not caring if anyone saw her.

She was startled out of her thoughts when an arm wrapped around her shoulder. Karen couldn't bring herself to open her eyes, not wanting to get her hopes up. She slowly opened her eyes, the curiosity winning out, to find a soft flannel shirt blurring her field of vision. Shaking her head as more tears fell she didn't want Luke to find her like this. Not crying on her supposedly ex girlfriends front porch.

His voice was soft and caring when he spoke, 'Its ok Kar' which made her cry harder at the sound of her nickname, 'you guys will figure everything out, sooner or later.'

Karen couldn't find the words, her voice lost amidst the tears. She could only shake her head no, knowing that she messed everything up.

They didn't speak, letting the sadness and sounds of nature wash over them. After a while, Karen found her voice, though soft and raged.

'I don't think we'll be okay Luke, she won't even talk to me.' Taking a deep breath as more tears trickled down her face, karen struggled to continue,

'She won't talk, not to anyone and its killing me. Rory's freaking out, all worried about both of us, and I just...'

She broke off unsure of what to say next, finally she whispered,

'I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so scared I lost her, that she won't let me back in.' She shook her head lost in a sea of sadness as new sobs erupted from her small body.

She cried out, 'Damn it' before Luke pulled her close trying to get her to calm down. He was silently cursing Lorelai for not answering the door as well as for not trying to make an effort to make things right when he heard it.

Behind him, soft footsteps padded across the porch, stopping just shy of where they were sitting. He didn't need to look because he knew who it was. Luke was trying to get Karen's attention when she whispered, 'God Luke, I just love her so much, I don't know what in the hell I'm going to do if I can't fix what I messed up, fix what I ruined.' She paused, 'especially if I loose her. I just don't know anymore.'

All Luke could do was pray Lorelai would say something or make a move, just something to let Karen know she's not alone in her tears and sadness.

Lorelai stood awkwardly behind them, at a loss for what to say. She knew Karen loved her just as much as she did, but seeing her like this, scared and shaking made her heart ache. Lorelai sniffled loudly, drawing in a sharp breath in the process, drawing the attention of Karen who was staring at her with bloodshot teary eyes. They just stared at each other, at a loss for what to say. Luke took that as his cue to leave, he slowly untangled himself from Karen who whimpered slightly and set off across the lawn.

The two women continued to stare at each until Karen opened her mouth to say something but instead, shook her head and turned her focus to back to the necklace she was still wearing. Lorelai tried to keep her emotions under control but when Karen turned away again she lost it once more.

Her voice was laced with tears barely audible to Karen, 'I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry. I freaked out, I'm sorry.' She paused taking a small step forward but it didn't help, she whimpered lightly before continuing, ' Please say something, please, you have no idea how sorry I am, please' She paused waiting to see if Karen would say something, after a couple minutes she gave up. Lorelai wrapped her arms around her body and slowly walked back to the front door, tears streaming down her face when a voice stopped her.

Her voice was soft, 'I just wanted to spend my life with you. Forever and always. Like we talked about and you screwed it up, you ran away.' She paused as a sob escaped her throat, new tears streaming down her face, 'It hurts, it hurts so much to know that you walked away, without even so much as an answer. I don't know how to make it stop hurting. Nothing works. Nothing will make it go away.' She stopped talking again, quietly she added, 'I need you in my life, I want to grow old with you. To wake up each morning and see your face but if the idea of marrying me scares you that much, I don't know if its worth it.' Karen stood up, taking the necklace off in the process. She ran her fingers over the small heart, trying not to lose it again. Karen looked up at Lorelai, her hand trembling in the process, 'If you freaked out over marriage, I don't even want to think about what would happen if I mentioned I wanted kids with you.'

Lorelai gasped, she wasn't expecting that, 'You want kids with me?'

Karen looked into Lorelai's blue eyes shocked to see confusion mixed with joy & love. She shook her head trying to clear her thoughts, before she spoke she nodded slightly, 'I did, but I don't know anymore. I just want you in my life but you don't seem to want me in yours' she paused taking a deep breath, 'Because if that's the case then here,' extending her hand she displayed the necklace to Lorelai, 'I won't need this anymore,' as more tears poured down her face.

Lorelai gently reached out and took the necklace from Karen before moving to sit on the stairs, 'How can you think that Kar,' she glanced back at Karen before continuing, 'I love you so much sweetie, I'm sorry I freaked out but honestly I wasn't ready for your proposal,' She sighed softly, feeling more tears run down her face, 'I don't know what to do anymore, I'm so unbelievably lost, more so if your not in my life. I can't take back what happened or my reaction and if you want to..' A sob escaped her throat as she looked at the necklace in her hands, she whispered, trying to get her words out, 'to breakup, to lose what we have then I don't know. I just don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't...,' she broke off sobbing as Karen lost her reserve and rushed over to her, gently pulling her into her arms.

They sat holding each other, both lost in their own thoughts. When Lorelai calmed down, Karen spoke in hushed tones, 'Breaking up with you is the last thing I want to do but if your that scared to marry me, it makes me incredibly nervous,' she paused debating on asking this, she shyly asked, 'What do you want to do?' Karen peered into Lorelai's eyes praying for something she was unsure of herself.

Lorelai stared back into Karen's eyes both scared and overwhelmed to answer her question, because deep down she already knew the answer. She had a big surprise for Karen and it was probably not what she was expecting. The scary thing was that Lorelai's answer to that little four worded question would always be yes. And that freaked her out so much, she was at a loss for words. So Lorelai simply pointed at Karen, then at herself, smiled shyly then slowly showed Karen her left ring finger.

It took Karen a couple minutes to realize what was happening. She glanced down at Lorelai's finger, carefully running her fingers across the cool delicate metal. The tears formed in her eyes as she realized Lorelai was accepting her proposal, but still shocked at everything that had happened. She was shaking, generally overjoyed, 'What does this mean?'

Lorelai let out a soft laugh before pulling Karen close and placing a chaste kiss on her lips. She smiled broadly, 'what do you think it means? Its our happily ever after.'


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